Rejecting Rejection with author Betsy Devany

Hope everyone is keeping warm on these cold months. In this week’s installment of Rejecting Rejection: How to Say Yes to Yourself When the World Says No, author Betsy Devany turns cold Rejection into a warm cup of coffee, by showing us that rejection, much like winter, does not last forever.

 

Rejection from a Bird’s Eye View 

by Betsy Devany

 

Rejection.

Yes, it’s a term that makes many writers cringe.

But it doesn’t have to.

Rather than cringe, celebrate the receipt of an actual response. That is, once you’ve stepped away from the computer and let go of the e-mail’s hard copy, that may or may not have been read countless times. Next, you might retire to your couch, having decided your writing career will never launch, and that a better investment of your time is watching mindless TV shows. The kind one only turns to if stuck in a hospital bed for more than three days. (I became temporarily addicted to My Super Sweet 16 during a lengthy hospital stay, and to some other reality TV shows, which I will not disclose here or ever.)

Today, I do not watch reality TV, and I take rejections for what they are, at least in my personalized definition of a word I prefer not to use.

rejection |riˈjekSHən| noun

A “not the perfect fit” response to a submission, which leads the writer or illustrator to reflect, re-envision, and revise. If handled wisely, the knowledge that grows from understanding particular rejections can ultimately strengthen current and future creative endeavors.

Rejection is an inevitable part of our business. It is an inevitable part of life. There are medical transplant rejections, rejections of the heart, and employment rejections. Homeless pets endure rejection as potential owners ponder whether to adopt them, and then select another needy animal to bring into their home. As a weekly volunteer in a second-grade classroom, I observe kids getting rejected when they offer their help to hand out birthday cupcakes, or ask another child to be their reading or recess partner.

In our business, rejection is not life shattering, but can still be painful. And it’s okay to feel discouraged when a pass comes your way. Subjectivity, timing, similarity to other books in the marketplace, and more importantly, the quality of the writing; these all come into play when an editor or agent is considering a submission. How we choose to handle rejection is what offers us control over something that might seem out of our control. I learned this, as I learn many things, from watching birds.

Last spring, a house wren couple dealt with a devastating loss. I was attached to the wrens as I had witnessed them build a nest together in one of our birdhouses. Then, via a bird cam, I watched the female lay her eggs over a week’s time, then sit on the six eggs for two weeks, patiently turning and shifting, as a writer shifts words and sentences, even entire paragraphs and chapters, in preparation to submit our work. Just as a mother bird hopes its young will fly and land successfully, we feel the same way about our manuscripts.

But this did not happen in the case of the house wrens.

 

A day after all the eggs had successfully hatched—a process that takes up to a week—a sparrow entered the house while both parents were out searching for insects. The newborns were injured. Once the sparrow was chased off by other species of songbirds, the parents returned. The father wanted to move on, thus rejecting the young; the female house wren entered the birdhouse to mourn, and then refused to leave.

Writer friends who can lift you up and out of the ‘Rejection Blues’ are invaluable. And like the best of writer friends, the male house wren sang to its mate, as if to say, “I know this is hard, but we have to go on. We have to try again.”

For two hours, I crouched behind a bush, watching the male sing from a nearby tree, and then peer into the hole. Over and over, he did this, while my heart melted. He became more desperate as time went by, and there was nothing I could do. And then, finally, the female emerged to follow her mate to the other side of our property. I crept across our yard, and observed the male present another house to his mate. And then a stick . . . and another stick . . . until together, they built a new nest. After a month, the first egg began to crack, and three weeks later, seven curious fledglings left their nest, flew to our nearby woods and landed successfully.

Determination in the face of rejection or hardship is a powerful thing. Own it as a writer. You must never give up.

Energy is valuable. Waiting is non-productive. And ultimately your work deserves a house where people are excited, and look forward to growing your project to its full potential. As a writer or illustrator, your work deserves the “perfect fit.” Nothing less. In 2009, I compared finding an agent or editor to finding the perfect pair of jeans, which in itself, is not an easy task. http://betsydevany.wordpress.com/2009/10/08/the-right-fit/

So write out of love for the journey of writing. Don’t write to the dream of getting published. Within all of us are wonderful stories. If you spend valuable energy and time on waiting, and then reacting to “not the perfect fit” responses, you are not writing the stories that only you can write. Stories that I, and the rest of the world, want to read.

Betsy Devany writes fiction for all ages of children, depending on what tugs at her heart. An award-winning author, she has been recognized by New Voices of Children’s Literature a total of nine times since 2007, in every category for children’s writers: picture book, middle grade, and young adult. In 2011 she won the runner-up SCBWI Barbara Karlin grant. When not writing, Betsy works part-time at an old-fashioned toy store in Mystic CT, where creativity and imagination are encouraged, and where Betsy has the opportunity to hand sell children’s books. An avid, but untrained photographer, Betsy is known to stop whatever she’s doing to chase a stunning sunset or anything else that speaks to her. “I am always searching for the extraordinary within the ordinary.” Betsy’s debut picture book called Smelly Baby, to be illustrated by the talented Christopher Denise, is forthcoming from Christy Ottaviano Books in Spring 2016. After sorting through multiple offers of representation, Betsy signed with “her perfect fit” agent, Emily van Beek of Folio Literary. She is currently revising one of her middle grade novels. www.betsydevany.com www.betsydevany.wordpress.com Betsy can also be found on twitter @BetsyDevany.